By order of the King. He heard a most vexing tale today by one of his subjects. It turned out the fellow was at his local library and saw a desired tome in the used book store. It was a most recent edition with a new cover, even though the text came from the 1960s. But the text itself is considered a classic of historical scholarship, a fine addition to any worthwhile library. Pleased that the stray quarter he had on him would be of good use, he picked it up. A voice told him to skim the pages. A voice of wise experience. For they were verily marked with the most foul yellow stains, common to college students cramming for tests or writing essays. Perhaps the previous owner, after foully desecrating the fine book, passed his examinations, and, clod that he is, decided he would have no further need of the valuable information contained therein, and then he proceeded to carelessly give it away, unmindful of not only the treasure he held in his hand, but the considerations of future readers whose experience and pleasures would be lessened by such graffiti. Such ignorance! Such disrespect for the sacredness of books. There were many pages highlighted and underlined and although the reading experience would not be too greatly hindered, the bibliophile could not in good conscience purchase the desired object, even for the pittance of 25 cents. Shaking his head, he put the book back and found another. Then he went back to tell his King—who being just as passionate about books as he was, lamented with him.

Now he signs this decree. Forthwith, from the South to the North of the lands he possesses, anyone caught so much as putting a pencil mark on a book and then giving it away will be captured by the Kings Men. Remuneration will be given to the families, but also this warning: that they will never see their loved ones again, and that they will be cast into the dankest, darkest prison for fouling a book, surviving on moldy bread and cracker crumbs, before they are taken out and shot. This is by orders of His Imperial Majesty. May his light shine upon all.