Bear vs Bear vs Bear

Panda bear waddles down to bear headquarters to discuss the possible shift to veganism.

Panda: Hey guys, how are you dong?

Bears: *eats and ignores panda*

Panda: I brought some extra bamboo. You don't need to slaughter your fellow animal creatures. I have survived off of bamboo for milennia and look how I've thrived.

Black Bear: *lifts head* You look like shit, Panda.

Panda: What?

Black Bear: Look, you have no muscle tone. Your babies are sickly. You smell like old couches. You hang out with a weasel. I mean, what the fuck is that? *points at red panda*

Red Panda: *boggle*

Panda: You are oppressing me with your large bear privilege. I work hard. I have become a beloved mascot to all of China. People find me enchanting. I also am a steward of the environment. And bamboo is delicious. It's fucking delicious.

Black Bear: *sidles up. Smiles and eats Red Panda* Come at me, Panda. Seriously, WILL BAMBOO SAVE YOU NOW? WHO IS YOUR GOD? I AM YOUR GOD. I HAVE BEEN EATING MEAT AND KILLING ALL THAT TIME YOU HAVE BEEN SITTING AROUND ON YOUR FLABBY PANDA ASS EATING BAMBOO. MUAHAHAH

Panda: *cries*

/end scene