Vanderpump? MORE LIKE VANDERPUNCHS

SPOILERS? YAR, COME IN HERE.

POLL: who does the WWHL audience believe? (Stassi was the guest): Stassi: 48% Kristen: 52% OH SNAP, DEAD HEAT. I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS.

Ok, super briefly, K, so Jax told Stassi that he slept with Kristin while they both watched Drive. She went down on him. No kissing. Like when Jamie Lee Curtis talked about being a prostitute on Trading Places. Or Julia Roberts on Pretty Women.

I'm SURE Jax was thinking of movie prostitutes when he added that little flourish.

There are incriminating texts as well and now Tom Sandoval feels bad but there is a little part of me that believes Kristin. There is an even bigger part of me that hates Jax more. And I can see Stassi's rage. When I was 21, my friend's boyfriend intentionally sprayed champagne all over this vintage silver lace dress I wore to a party. It was SUCH a great dress. That motherfucker. I slapped him. Maybe it's wrong but he cried and I yelled and everyone high-fived me.

On second thought, don't judge me, let's move on.

Stassi slapped Kristin and there was a big melee. I don't know if Kristin was exaggerating her pain but it's all ugly and I think ugly in an actual and not just tv drama way. And I kind of feel for Kristin, especially if Jax, who could very well be a compulsive liar is lying or at least stretching the truth.

Is that wrong? DON'T PROVE ME WRONG, KRISTIN.

PS. I think Kristin and Tom are still together so next week will be interesting to watch. Though this story for Gawker favorite blog, Bustle says that perhaps they did break up. DID THEY LIE ON WWHL? Did Kristen and Jax just sleep together again?

I don't know what to think. A CRISIS HAS ENSUED FOR ALL.

PS. I've been watching WWHL. Poor Stassi. Her friends suck. I want to give her a hug and if I did, she'd probably go limp and make a face BUT NONETHELESS, Stassi has been treated like shit. God, Kristin, GOD. I feel so much more confused than I usually do.