It should come as no surprise that The New Yorker got the scoop on Copyright Monkey. He's, like, way smarter and more erudite than Gawker's dumb old dog. Compare and contrast.

Copyright Monkey:

Monkey have little personal need for human money. Monkey have cool rainwater to drink, abundance of fresh fruit to eat, group to forage and socialize with. Monkey one of four adult males who calls shots in group, so Monkey's life already pretty sweet. But Monkey also member of critically endangered species, and when the last time you managed to get high-priced lobbyists and P.R. people to take star fruit for payment?

Dog:

I often sing that song to myself: "A wanderer, a wanderer, I roam around around around, a wanda-rah, a wanda-rah, I Roman rounda rounda round, a wompa wah, ba domp a dah, Eye oamkoamadoama pound, around around, a wangah dong, a woop a doopa shoopa shoam, I roam a home, a tome a boam, a zona zone, a homeroam, I wander-uh, a squander-ah, a gahgah gahgahga

I'd love to see these two get into a battle of wit. Copyright Monkey vs. Dog. Maybe they could find common ground in their fascination with butts. Butts taste better than Slim Jim Teriyaki flavor, easy.