Back in the fall, there was a small uprising of freedom lovers who believed in change. We were ambushed at every turn by Grandad Freeman. He continues to propogandize against us at every turn and I think for you newbies especially, we really tell you a few things about who Grandad is and what he has done.

  1. Recent pictures submerged where Grandad was seen as the traveling to Black Sites in Eastern Europe with Dick Cheney and unknown dictators and conspirators from beyond our boarders. Our cats tried to obtain these pictures but they were destroyed.
  2. Grandad was seen canoodling with Miley Cyrus and Dick Cheney. Possibly at the same time.
  3. Grandad may have destabilized several forms of currency back in 2008. Iceland has not recovered and rather than pity them, Grandad demanded Bjork in exchange for solvency.
  4. Grandad may own 40% of Monsanto.
  5. Grandad's love of wood respresents the fact that he may be responsible for the destruction of the Amazonian rain forests.

So when you go to the polls, just remember, do you want to vote for the voice of freedom and furry love? Or history's greatest monster?