1. I went for a haircut recently and was shocked with the amount of white hair that had appeared on the sides & back of my head. The shock made portions of my beard white. This wouldn't be so irritating ('hey, wait till till your pubes turn whites. then you will know old') but I am too lazy to dye my hair & I am on a no-poo regime.

The good thing is I am turning invisible to teens.

2. Why does every other woman I meet feel as comfortable with me as they must with their therapist? Even when I was a wee little student editor in school and went to the teacher's place for work, she would tell me about fungal colonies in her plumbing as big as the five hundred piece jigsaw puzzles she would solve.

Spare me your UTI details please lady. I don't care whether you're smurfing or not; I'm gonna surf the smurf... and I am not even drunk yet.

3. Loved this romantic article. When did stoning become a hetero thing? In the movies stoners are always depicted with homoerotic subtext. My stoner pack was frequently considered gay in college, but that's understandable since we had to use the same hiding spots in public used by couples. I need your opinions on this crosstalkers. here's some pr0n to get you talking.

Some goats got got and gears ground in service of vanity

4. People who think print holds a certain charm, that the touch and feel of printed paper is special, are just compensating for the trail of dead insects left in the wake of their longhand effort.

Some goats got got and gears ground in service of vanity