"Straight people suck at pick up apps", one commenter said the other day in one of the endlessly common threads about Grindr and Tinder on Jezebel.

What followed was the exact same discussion between dozens of people on Jezebel that always happens when people are commenting on Grindr and Tinder. To save you the trouble of having to ever wade through those discussions I've boiled down the different experiences people seem to have with the two apps.

Grindr:

Step One: Dude sees a photo he likes and checks to see if the dude is a reasonable distance away.

Step Two: Dude sends photo to other dude.

Step Three: If other dude likes the photo they meet somewhere in the next 30 minutes and have sex. If he doesn't like the photo he simply doesn't respond.

Tinder:

Step One For Boys: See pictures of 400 women they like and send messages to all of them without reading their profiles or seeing if they are within a 200 mile radius.

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Step One For Girls: See pictures of a couple guys they think are kind of cute. Study their profiles, send out messages discussing what they have in common.

Step Two For Boys: Either send long message back discussing her profile or send a message saying "you down to fuck?" accompanied by a picture of his penis.

Step Two For Girls: Ignore 99 percent of the responses that are dick picks or DTF questions. Talk to the one percent of dudes who actually said something interesting in his response.

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Step Three: Meet in a safe public space for coffee or drinks a day or two later. If after a couple drinks the girl thinks the dude isn't a psychopath they go to his place and have sex.