Hello Crosstalk and what I assume are readers of Clashtalk, GroupThink and the gif-having spambots of the super-future. I just wanted to say that I hope you make resolutions while in an inebriated state, forget about them about two weeks in, and find a state of relative content and security in your life in the new year. You all are a great group of people who wit and knowledge I enjoy while at home or looking for something to give my brain a boost at work.

So enjoy your night as I will be debauching myself in the most responsible way while dodging the supposedly harsh weather we in the Midwest are to receive at the hands of an angry God.

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My wishes for all of you: if you are single, may you make out with a hot stranger. If you are married, may you make out like drunk teenagers. If you have children may they fall asleep before midnight so you can enjoy some booze. If you have older children, may you not have to pick them up for public intoxication and/or hear them vomiting into your toilet when they get home.

Happy New Year!