WHAT IS YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION?!??!?!

If I want to lose weight, I will exercise and eat better rather than sit on my ass and eat cheese and then complain to my mom about my weight, like I did for so much of 2013. If I eat cheese, I will not neurotically complain about my weight but enjoy the cheese, as God or any other supernatural power, has intended.

God, recently, I had an amazing smoked Gouda. It was fucking transcendent.