I woke up, after getting my mid-day drink on to these lyrics:

Love is patient

Love is kind

One would think that immediately I would go on a Same Love Macklemore binge. I did not. Where those two lines took me was to Naya Rivera's (as Santana on Glee) performance of If I Die Young.

They're a reason this song cuts me and I cry.

I'm not my mother's son nor my sister's brother. I'm not going to cut my life short like they both did.

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There is a reason that Naya's performance as Santana is picked out as the better representation of growing up and growing into a queer identity. It isn't because her character is Latina, though that is refreshing, it is because her character is strong AND awkward. She hurts and she takes charge. Santana has nuance.

I love her for that. I run away once I feel something, especially pain and hurt.

Sometimes, I wake up and just want to cry. For reasons I don't even understand.