Hello. My name is Julius Simon Stewart Regis Captain America The Winter Soldier Huffpo McCloud. Please address me always by my full name, as it reminds me of my importance and self-regard. You see, I am special but paradoxically fragile, and my full name needs to reflect that.

One perk being an Armenian is we don't have middle names. (Another benefit is we make excellent stick meats.) When we want to honor our fathers, we try to lead lives based on their examples. When we want to honor our grandfathers, we pester our dad with questions about his dad until he gets fed up and goes to the local kebab place with his friends, who chances are also don't have middle names. What is their point? It's just more work for the book Bibliography writer who has to type more superflous stuff out. Initials are more acceptable, though I would have been fine with John Tolkien and George Martin. Strunk and White said don't use more words than you have to. A name, yours, is pretty identifying to mean you, pretty clear on that. You don't need a ostentatious and haughty middle moniker. Makes you sound like an asshole. Alls I'm saying.