I was sitting next to this guy in the Workforce office and he struck up a conversation:

Him: Hey man. I'm disabled.

Me: Damn that sucks.

Him: Yeah man a heifer ran and broke one of the gates and I hit my head on some metal. *Shows a knot on his head* The state of Texas said I can't work no more.

Me: Aww man.

Him: You would think it would be fun but it's actually boring.

Me: You just have to find something to do then.

Him: Yeah but I've done everything. I just take care of the house while my wife works.

Me: That cool.

Him: I also have, *shows a scar on his stomach*. I have a tube from my neck to here. Let me see your finger.

Me: *Show him my finger*

Him: Don't worry man. I ain't gay. My wife is sitting right there. *Grabs my finger to feel the tube in his neck.

Me: (He said he's not gay but he grabbed the hell out of my finger.)

Him: At my last job when we were working at night, this one guy asked me too meet him behind the pipes. I got this knife that when you press a button the blade comes up. I showed him that knife and said I don't think you want to go behind there with me.

Me: (Damn this dude thought he was about to get fucked over.)

Him: I ain't with that gay stuff, ya know?

Me: (Oh. He thought he was about to get fucked over literally. I wouldn't have thought that but whatever.)

Him: What do you think about all this gay stuff?

Me: I don't care. Gay people don't bother me.

Him: It's all over the news all day. Man that stuff is sick.

Me: *Shrugs.*

Him: That's why I stopped watching the news. It's all about gay this and gay that. I just watch the weather and that's it. How do you feel about it?

Me: *Shrugs...again* I don't care. People can do what they want to do.

Him: *Chuckles* What? Man you're crazy.

Me: (Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?)

Receptionist: You ready?

Me: *Jumps out the chair like she was handing out Obamphones*

The End.