Newest Contender for NY's Dumbest Fitness Mashup

Have you been wanting to take a Spin Class, but were deterred by the fact that the classes are not held underwater? Thankfully, there’s a new fitness trend (it’s European, which means it’s from Europe) in town that caters specifically to the “I can only absorb oxygen via a secret set of gills hidden underneath my buttcheeks” crowd, a demographic that has been shamefully underrepresented in the fitness scene as yet.

Normal water aerobics classes are very primitive in that they expect you to stand and/or swim in the water. Previously, if you were in a pool and you wanted to stay in the same place, your choices were limited. You could either a) tread water or b) not move. But AQUA CYCLE could sense that the world was ready for a new way to stay in one place and be underwater at the same time - submerged stationary bikes.

Maybe you still need some convincing. Well okay you stupid idiot, here are ten very compelling pro-AQUA CYCLE arguments courtesy of AQUA STUDIO NY. If you are too out of shape from lack of AQUA CYCLE classes to click on that link, then all you need to know is #10 - Europeans love it. And it’s not just Europeans (that is, people from Europe) who love it. According to a photo on AQUA STUDIO NY’s Instagram (seems necessary), Confucius is also a fan, and you may remember him from a little country some people call “China.” AQUA CYCLERS just tend to think of it as “Not Europe.”

Newest Contender for NY's Dumbest Fitness Mashup

Each class costs $40. If that sounds steep, keep in mind that it’s because water is very rare and hard to find.

I would give anything for Caity to go to one of these classes and give it the same treatment as the "dance class for noodles." Rich, too, but AQUA CYCLE is currently just for THE LADIES.