So I bought an apple today (yes, just one), and I wanted some caramel sauce to dip it in. I'm pretty handy in a kitchen, so I figured it'd be easy enough to make some myself...

I found an easy recipe online and quickly set to work. The recipe had a nice, clear warning that melted sugar will be hotter than boiling water. Message received, right? Wrong! As I'm stirring the sugar, which is quickly caramelizing, I lift the spoon out of the pot. I want to taste it. I taste sauces all the time. None of those sauces have ever been nothing but melted sugar.

I go to pull a little bit of the sugar, which is hanging off the end of my spoon, with the tip of the middle finger on my left hand. I figured, since it was hanging off the tip and had been exposed to the air for a few seconds, it would be cool enough to touch. Figured it would still be a bit hot, but my hands are used to hot cooking things.

So my fingertip makes contact with the melted sugar...

Instant. White. Hot. Pain!

I throw the spoon. I run to the sink and run my finger under cool water. I remove my finger from the stream of water and look at it. The white burn blister of a second degree burn has already started forming.

There are so many nerve endings in your fingertips. And all of them, even the ones on my blessedly unburned adjacent fingers, are screaming with fire. The other fingers on my left hand are sympathetically burning. My middle finger is a furnace. I've had it dipped in a cup of cold water for half an hour now and it's still on fire. If I remove it for more than a few seconds I want to chop it off.

Help. What else can I do? I don't have any burn cream. I've already taken two aleve hoping they'll eventually help with the pain once they kick in.

I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot in pain. I don't even want that fucking apple that I've been chilling in my fridge all day.

/whimper.