Deep inside a basement in Langley some chain smoking men are trying to find the files on how they killed JFK and got away with it.

Advertisement

“Look under ‘P’ for ‘Patsy,” one of them screams. “We are the last hope for stopping Trump.”

Meanwhile a former member of the Foreign Legion now turned merc is negotiating in the back room of a bar in Istanbul exactly what his price will be.

Advertisement

“Tell Mrs. Clinton that when the operation is a go to tweet about a cat or a canary,” he mutters.

Only one surveillance photo was taken of the mysterious merc as he left the bar, though witnesses heard him muttering the term “Coral Snake.”

At NSA headquarters a senior analyst was seen for the last time after taking a hushed phone call in the hallway. This image is the last one ever taken of her before the launch of Operation Cougar Bait.

Nobody could ever have guessed what was going through the mind of the disgraced former Homeland Security official, or what was really in his coffee cup that fateful day.

All we could be sure of was that without the events of that day this man would never have become president. All other records of Operation Cougar Bait have been lost to history.