Twitter user @Wolvesex in one of his tamer poses.

I fucking love language.

Something missing from today's dick pic cameo on the KDVR broadcast of the Seattle helicopter crash was the question, "how the hell did this mix up happen?" It's not everyday that a penis gets on air. Sure, we all said "SCOFF! TECHNOLOGY! HASHTAGS! STUPID LOCAL NEWS!" and then moved on to the Malaysian missing flight conspiracy theory du jour, but for those devoted (crazy? perverted? individuals like me?) people who stopped to read the fine print underneath this man's fine dick, a poetic example of linguistics meeting technology in the modern age was to be had.

Twitter user @Wolvesex (who at the time I posted this had a delightful ratio of 29 followers to 12 dick pics) speaks Spanish and like anyone else alive doesn't use perfect spelling when tweeting. He had only posted 66 tweets since joining on September 6, 2013, and the infamous message and picture (linked below) came at approximately 7:00AM PST, right around the time of the helicopter crash which he would forever be linked to. The unedited caption to his anaconda read: "El morbo de tokarse en un sitio publiko komo en un ascensor..... Ke alguien te puede pillar."

Now I don't speak Spanish, but I do live in Seattle, so the thing that immediately stuck out to me about this tweet was the word "komo." KOMO, for those lucky enough not to live in Macklemoremania, is one of our largest news organizations and as many people may now know, was a co-lessee of the helicopter that tragically crashed this morning. Well, there was my answer for how this happened: a simple mistake in search terms. A news organization and communication app both lost in translation.

But I was still curious. And this man's body is seriously smoking. So I dug deeper.

What would the word komo mean in Spanish anyways? It's very unSpanish from what little I knew about romantic language phonetics. Quomo would be a better spelling for that pair of phonemes, right?

Well, it was off to Google Translate. Within seconds, and with the assistance of Google's corrective text, I learned that komo was just a slang spelling for como, meaning like or such as. Well, now I was completely invested and needed to know what his original tweet read in its entirety. To what was he comparing his penis? Was his love like a rose? For those who have held out, here is what his tweet says—with edits for spelling and grammar:

"The curiosity of touching in a public place like an elevator ..... is that someone can catch you."

I might as well DM the orgasm I had when I read that to Mr. Wolvesex's account.

How utterly perfect of a text to serendipitously accompany this whole snafu. Not only was the text about exhibitionism, Wolvesex, but you indeed were "caught" perhaps not in an elevator, but in a place that recently, and even on this very website, has been hotly debated between being public and private. What a juicy morsel to add to the contention. Your contribution to this conversation has made your member a gold member of a very nuanced debate raging in the tech world right now. And you didn't even know it! What's even more beautiful is that Wolvesex got the very rush he feared he would get—a delightful coda to an already fascinating (at least to me) story.

But of course, our kneejerk reaction is to censor the whole thing. Because what good could come out of following up on a hard cock?

Here's the tweet.