So yesterday and before, I vented on here about our daughter's 4th grade teacher.
His style is one we have all, as a family, been a bit flummoxed about. It's only the 13th day of school so we really hadn't had a chance to see much in the way of homework or expectations from him and we wanted to wait it out a bit before being one of those god awful helicopter parents that screams at the first sign or possible trouble.
But after the teacher said his piece on prisons and reading (linked above), we felt we could not continue without a meeting. Our daughter's being afraid to ask him questions was also a huge factor in our want of a meeting, in fact, it was the most important factor.
So we met. I must say I was fabulously charming and handled myself so well I must have channeled all my best Gawker buddies to help me speak so well, or perhaps I am actually a good mom who isn't lazy about the one thing that matters. (it's both).
We all had a good dialogue I did school him about his prison comment pointing out that not only did his joke (he claimed it was a joke) fall flat, but that he was using bad data and that is never a good idea to prove one's point. He fought back a bit on this point saying "He'd seen other data", but even the principal agreed that any search about the idea offers much in the "not fact" column and little, if any, in the "true fact" column. I didn't press him to see that he was wrong but rather offered that it's often the case with such things, they sound true so we believe them and tell our friends, I relayed a story about how I often misquoted Mark Twain "Golf is a good walk spoiled." and how I had learned recently that Twain did not say that. (I learned that here on Gawker, of course).
So then there were my test anxiety fears and the "failed" timed test. OOPS! Turns out they were some weirdly scored tests meant for the teachers and had been placed in our packets by mistake. It further turns out that our daughter is actually advanced, way advanced, like end-of fifth grade advanced in many ways. *beaming*.
So what was the end game here? Well, we are having her stay in the class. We had her come into part of the meeting and had her talk about how she is afraid to speak up to her teacher. it was agreed (and thought of by me) that she should challenge herself to ask at least one question a day, anything at all as long as it's her teacher she asks. Hopefully this activity will help build her confidence about speaking to him.
We both found that he was very open to working things out and honestly seems to have our daughter's best interests at heart. He also agreed that names could be used and not numbers (Little Cheerful asked for this specifically).
Do we love him? No. But we do feel like it's going to be okay especially given how positive the principal was about what I was saying (Hubby doesn't talk much). He was nodding along and saying 'yes, good idea!" to many of my points.
I feel so much better. I don't feel I went off half cocked at all, really. I didn't call all my mom friends and dish, I did call one trusted mom about it but she's not a gossip like that.
Thank you all for your support and suggestions and just for being you.