Time-saving fix: here's the list of novels that Buzzfeed writers (& by proxy, their audience) find sexy.

  • The Hobbit - you will only get till 2nd base though
  • LOTR - but you probably have a big dick or a fetish
  • One hundred years of Solitude
  • Brideshead revisited - yeah, but its 'wishful thinking' that any straight dude is into this.
  • Anything by Alice Munro
  • The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
  • Slouching towards Bethlehem
  • Men who identify as 'Slytherin' from Harry Potter series.
  • The Sound & the Fury - especially if you're from the South.
  • The Clowns & the Furries - very niche.
  • Anything by Margaret Atwood - especially the SF

__________

Some further observations:

"On the Road has never actually done drugs."
"This guy doesn't understand why Into the Wild is a horror story."

True. No one who likes On the Road today is a junkie. Goddamn hippies!

Fight Club

just, like, really understands the struggle, man."

"Hasn't actually read the book but believes he can pass it off like he has because of the movie."

This was one of the few movie adaptations that manages to convey the story of the novel fully and build on it further.

"The Catcher in the Rye stopped reading after high school."
"Is still 13."

Yet only one writer found this dude unsexy. The rest wanted to 'teach' this person.

__________

None of my favourite books appear on this shootout list. Of the books that do appear, Lolita I read in my youth. It was a glimpse into the possible affects of language which I fully realized much later in college when I discovered poetry and philosophy proper. I was entranced by the wily nymph character and compared her attitude with a girl in my life back then. I had also read Atwood's Blind Assassin in school but I can't remember anything from it save that there was a novel going on within the novel.

One piece of pseudo-analysis that got too close to truth for comfort,

"Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius is not working the job he secretly believes he would be the best in the world at."
"I have a soft spot for this guy."
"Because he's kind of a mess, but will take care of his little brother the best he knows how."

If I have to select a book and approximate the response, I am gonna choose Welsh's Trainspotting - Joyce's successor in the stream-of-consciousness style who also replicated the Scottish dialect in print impeccably. They are further united in their opposition to British crustiness. This book would get the same response as for Ulysses but not from Buzzfeed writers. Only Cat Marnell would find Trainspotting sexy.

What kind of women do I dig? Only the ones who are into the OG feminist, the one who captured the psychology of breakdown, Lessing's Golden Notebook.

[Check out the whole discussion if you're still curious. h/t to nothip]http://www.buzzfeed.com/isaacfitzgeral...