Nelson Mandela is neither 95 years old nor dead. He is 42 and living in China helping them create cold fusion.

I am so tired of the way the lamestream media and Nobama are trying to fake his death in order to distract you from the Satanic rituals that are being performed at the White House every night.

As long as this disinformation continues to draw traction people will continue to believe that the world is round and more than 6,000 years old. They will think that fast zombies are cooler than slow zombies. Some poor souls may actually believe that Han shot first.

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It's time to break through the lies before the death panels start, take a good look at Russia from Alaska and don our Lady Bug costumes and give hand jobs to celebrate our virginity.

Otherwise, what does it mean to be an American?