1. It was originally played with lawn darts, but in 1951 this was deemed too dangerous, so they created a ball that would have a similar dart like shape.
2. That isn't padding. Before you can play college ball you have to fight another rookie player over a lava pit. What looks like padding is a high tech suit that covers the third degree burns and allows them to breathe.
3. The losers of that fight are given plastic surgery and gender re-assignment surgery and become the cheerleaders.
4. The special teams players are made up of pardoned death row inmates.
5. Tim Tebow is an alien.