Amazon, the fucked-up company that wants to slice you to death with spinning drone blades, work its employees into early graves, and argue that it's just too darn complicated to figure out sales tax, is joining Target, the company that farts in the general direction of your credit card security, to *not* sell Beyoncé's new album. Because they're too dumb to know that no one goes to war with Beyonce and wins. Evidently, both companies are mad that the new album was dropped first on iTunes, so they're just not going to raise a finger to help it set even more sales records, and besides, they don't want the money. They're in business for moral reasons, goddammit. Beyoncé, otoh, is just hanging out giving away $50 to everybody at WalMart.

In what Pitchfork thinks is an attempt to stick it to Beyoncé for not partnering with them on hersurprise release, Amazon has decided to make like Target and not sell physical copies of her self-titled album. But, because they aren't dumb enough to completely turn their backs on the work that sold 828,773 copies in just three days, the online giant has made MP3 and videos from Beyoncé available. Perhaps both stores will change their minds when they see what happens when you play by Queen Bey's rules: As a thank you for carrying her work, she showed up at a Massachusetts Walmart Friday night, where she (once again) surprised fans, this time with $50 gift cards and baby-holding. Watch local news coverage of the blessed event below.