Some of you may know what I went through the last few weeks culminating in the death of my father.
My father was a man who lived very humbly. He had 2k in the bank which he instructed me to send to my mother before he passed. He died with few possessions, a couple of old cars worth nothing, an old tv and random things of no monetary value that he accumulated over his lifetime. I brought home a small rubbermaid container with mementos and keepsakes so everyone would have something to remember my dad by.
He lived in a ramshackle house that had been in his family for 150 years. The house had no value to me or my brother and my dad sold it several days before he passed away to a relative that had lived in a run down trailer on the property for 30 years for 20K.
My dad told me to use the money (20k) to pay his cremation expenses and settle his affairs and keep anything that was left. I've been home for 4 days, haven't even begun to settle his affairs, and don't even know if there will be anything left. Haven't given a thought to the 18k that's now left of the original 20k. His ashes are still warm. The reason my dad had no will was because he had nothing to leave anyone.
I had always maintained a close relationship with my dad throughout the 25 years since he retired and moved to New Mexico. Visited him once a year, he visited me once every year or two, and we talked on the phone several times a month.
I have two siblings. A brother and a sister. I've always had a great relationship with both but have been especially close to my sister. My brother always had a somewhat strained relationship with my dad but managed to visit him a few times over the past 25 years and kept in touch via periodic phone calls. My brother wasn't with me physically through my dads illness but he supported me emotionally and offered financial support and came to my aid so I wasn't alone in New Mexico right after my father died.
My sister on the other hand has had zero contact with my father in the past 25 years. Never called him, never visited him never knew anything about his life. I called her to update her on my dads condition while I was spending 14 hours a day with him in the hospital. She never asked me how he was or how I was. Instead she cut me off and talked over me to tell me her and her husband were at the Americas Cup and they were having so much fun and it was a beautiful day in the city, and on and on before saying gotta go and hanging up in my ear without me relating any information about my dads condition. I wasn't mad. Just disappointed.
Like me, my brother is upper middle class. We both do well, aren't hurting but we live within our means. We are not extravagant, we drive average cars, live in fairly nice houses but nothing especially noteworthy. My sister and her husband however, are multimillionaires, live in a 4 million dollar house, drive flashy cars and have everything they could possibly want or need.
I did everything my father told me to do. Followed his every wish after his death to a T. He felt my sister and her husband were greedy (they're Republicans,) and never did a thing to ever help anybody in their lives and was adamant that he didn't want anything to go to them. He repeatedly told me this even up until a few days before he passed. I thought that would be the one wish I wouldn't keep but figured I'd wait until his affairs were settled before I even thought about what to do if there was any money left.
Today my brother called me with a heads up. Said my sister called him and she was upset, her husband was upset, her adult children were upset that all they got was a few worthless pieces of shit. (Same stuff my brother and I got,) and she wanted a full accounting of my fathers estate and wanted a family meeting on Sunday so we could all decide together how to divide up all the spoils.
I called her to talk to her like an adult but she texted me back with some B.S. excuse about why she couldn't call me. Then she proceeded to blow up my mothers phone with call after call. My mother had been at my house earlier and forgot her phone so I saw all the calls my sister was making while she was blowing me off with her bullshit excuses. Then my brother called me again and my sister called him again and said I was untrustworthy and was holding out, and one person shouldn't have control of everything.
My brother was shocked and outraged and explained to her that I just got back from a very emotionally charged, stressful period of my life and there was no estate and told her what I would not have said. He told her my dad had expressed to him countless times that he didn't want to leave anything to her. Her response was that I couldn't be trusted and was hiding things and tried to get my brother on board with her B.S.. The thing is, my brother knows how my dad lived, was with me going through my dads belongings and was privy to everything that transpired between the time my dad landed in the hospital up until he passed away.
Since she wouldn't call me I texted her and apologized that her keepsakes weren't to her liking and told her if she didn't want them to give them back. Her response was, nice message, you already got everything now you want this stuff back to. She didn't know my brother had been calling me after every call she made.
My response was, My message was nicer than all the bs you've been stirring up and calling our brother about and since she was making such a stink about the keepsakes I assumed she didn't want them. For all I cared she could throw them away.
She then said calling my brother wasn't a stink, she just wanted us all to get together to figure out how to deal with our dads passing. The bitch never even called him when he was in the hospital dying. I texted back and asked why she was texting me with all these bs excuses about why she couldn't call me yet at the same time she was calling everybody worrying about a non existent estate.
She said she wasn't worried about anything, she just wanted to know what happened. I texted back and said, well I'm the only one that was there and I'm the one that knows what happened so why didn't you call and ask me? But since you want to know, I told her,here's what happened. Dad got sick and was hospitalized, diagnosed with terminal advanced stage 4 cancer, put in home hospice and died all within a two week period. Anymore questions? Should have pointed her here: http://crosstalk.kinja.com/final-resting-…
Haven't heard back and don't want to ever see her face again at this point. Whew, glad I got that off my chest...