Time, bored with all the usual ways it marks itself for the puny stupid humans, decided to use Game of Thrones actress Maisie Williams to show once again that it moves like a motherfucker, and that you will all grow old and die, possibly real soon, if you are old. You were completely caught off guard for this. You were idling looking up the cast on IMDB in anticipation for the season finale tonight, looking at the press photos, and admiring the casting acumen of the producers who cast one gorgeous woman after another—from the stunning Michelle Fairley to the stunning Rose Leslie. And then you landed on Williams' page and were taken aback by her birth date: April 15, 1997. You in a slight panic thought, "That can't be right" and did the simple arithmetic in your head—twice. Yep, it's kosher. She's 18. Where the hell did the time go? It seemed like just the other day that she was a baby faced 13 year old. Sure, she kills left and right, but that can't age you in an instant! You thought she would be 15, max. Nope. 18. You are old, or young or whatever the age cliche is. You are too confused. I mean you can accept adult Dakota Fanning and Abigail Breslin, but this, this, oh boy, will take some getting used to. And that's when Time smirks and you curse It, curse It forever, but it does no good: you're you and Time's Time. It will always have the last laugh, young, eternal, unchanging, while you wither away and die. But at least you'll see Arya's murder list hopefully fulfilled. There's that. Small consolation, but that's all you'll get in the face of the universe. Which, second by second, is getting older.
Correction: This despairing report was written by a fool. Normally that would not be so bad—there are fools a dozen, but this particular fool pulled an all-nighter the night before, because he had ice tea for lunch on that day and he damn well knows drinking any ice tea will not allow him to fall asleep. So his already addled brains misread an article and could not do a child's addition problem. Maisie Williams is 17. We are not living in the year 2015. We, whoever we are, have sacked the idiot and we deeply regret the error and we apologize to Ms. Williams.