Written in Ink

Aww Boo.

My extended family is making plans for Thanksgiving (duh) via email. This year will be different because my aunt who usually does at least 70% of the heavy lifting has asked everyone to pitch in since she's recently had surgery. Great! We've been asking her to delegate for years because the "kids" are getting older while our aunts and uncles and parents aren't getting any younger.

The planning emails are flying back and forth. In one I ask would anyone like wine with dinner. We aren't really a drinking family, and most Southern black families don't have wine with Thanksgiving or any other family-oriented dinner. However, we're not necessarily teetotalers either, and sometimes having wine with dinner is nice. I and at least 2 or 3 others would probably have a glass or two during the evening if any is available. However, one uncle and his wife are ultra-religious teetotalers— like, not even a sip of champagne for a wedding toast kind of teetotalers, not because they have had past drinking problems; they're just THAT religious. Wonderful people, but they are considered super religious in a family that most white liberals would consider to be pretty religious already (I think black people know what I'm talking about— we are always peppering our language with God and religious sayings and praying and saying stuff like "have a blessed day" as a matter of course— it's not considered weird, even for people that aren't church-going or drink or have kids out of wedlock, etc.). I mean, my cousin's husband is an actual pastor (who drinks wine, as a matter of fact).

Anyway, uncle responds to my email, "I think no wine or alcohol is a better example for the kids." Uh, what? Now, you and I know that the kids either don't care or won't notice that the adults are having wine. And we're not the kind of family to get "lit" on Thanksgiving night anyway— we tend to be very wholesome and drama-free, so it's extremely unlikely that the kids will have their first scary encounter with a drunk person. He's saying "no wine" because he disapproves of drinking, not because of the kids. He's putting it on the kids because that's the trump card in any situation, right? What am I even supposed to say to that? This uncle is probably considered the favorite among the cousins, so I'm not going to start a fight over wine— and I will most certainly be getting drunk when I return home either way— but I just think his reasoning is complete bullshit.

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Why am I telling you? You had to read this because I can't say anything to him. Congratulations. You are the repository for my mundane complaints. I'M SORRY.

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