As a native Mainer, I'm biased. Maine is pretty wonderful. Full of laid back people. Lots of good food. Not a lot of bullshit. And if it weren't for the bath salt addicts and rampant alcoholism and the libertarianism, it would be perfect. I'd say to balance it out, I also love Massachusetts. Besides the hippie dippy Vegan bullshit of the Happy Valley and 70s motel lounge type atmosphere of Framingham, you get Boston, the greatest city ever. Boston is great because of the rage—at driving, at the Yankees, at assholes in general. All the assholes. And at the same time, as a Bostonian, you embrace your inner asshole. But you're not an asshole. Everyone else is. It's the perfect plan. The perfect type of synchrony. Perfect Boston.

The worst state and it isn't an opinion, is Connecticut. Why? Fuck you, that's why. Name one redeemable thing about Connecticut. Mohegan Sun. Name two? You can't. Fuck Yale. Fuck Hartford (goddamned Insurance capital of the world?) Fuck Bridgeport. Fuck East Lyme. And a big motherfuck you to New Canaan. This list is a travesty but an entertaining one.

What say you, my friends?