A few years ago AJ or Nick Denton or some iteration of bad man made a comment disparaging the livejournal nature of a lot of the comments, with Crosstalk posts held as an example. This was, of course, before the mass exodus to Clashtalk, where the majority of “internet friends” settled. Some of us stayed behind, some new ones popped in here, but there is decidedly less over sharing on Crosstalk than there was before.
The thing is, when people do share personal things, it is usually somewhat interesting. Sometimes thrilling and hilarious, sometimes mind opening. I just wonder if what I have to say would be compelling.
I have a brain tumor. A sphenoid wing meningioma. It is behind my left eye, pushing the eyeball forward. These are typically benign and very slow growing but mine developed in under a year and has grown fast enough to reach my sinuses and cause a lump on my temple.
The pain is absolutely unbearable. It originally felt like an ice pick stabbing into my eye 24 hours a day but now I have pain all across my forehead from the pressure. It feels like I am on an airplane that is constantly halfway through taking off.
I’m on my second day on FMLA now and boredom has already set in. Daytime tv is horriawful and I don’t have the attention span for a book. I’ve found myself nesting, like pregnant women do before the baby comes. I get up and clean out a portion of a drawer, get tired, lay down for 30 minutes, then get back up and finish it. I’ve already tossed out a gigantic garbage bag of clothes. I’ve lost so much weight inexplicably, well now I guess it’s expicably.
So far I have only met with my neurologist. He referred me to a neurosurgeon, but my appointment isn’t until December 1. According to my neurologist, the holidays are really busy for neurosurgeons. So, now you know what to get the person who has everything. The gift of neurosurgery.
So, do I chronicle some of the big weird things or is that the most self centered, boring-ass shit I could do?