It seems since the late 90's the word 'douche' has seen a rise in popularity as a popular insult and has had many permutations for the word that don't involve 'bag' at the end. This is perfectly fine because I am a fan of portmanteau's. They're fun!
But lately there's been a douchemanteau that just does not work for me and that is douchecanoe. It doesn't make sense. Its not clever. It needs to stop.
I mean, think about it: you're calling someone a canoe full of douche. While one might say "Wow that's a lot of douche. I guess that's bad." Here's a physical reminder of what that looks like:
Its impossible. No one can buy that much douche. No one would waste that much douche putting it into a canoe. DOUCHE CAN DO SO MUCH MORE!
So there it is: douchcanoe is my 'moist'. You win, internet.