Written in Ink
Written in Ink
Illustration for article titled How is it satire of this magnitude has, until now, escaped my radar?


Sen. Ted Cruz Vows Not To Raise Nation’s Debt Ceiling Until Union Admits To Losing Civil War

WASHINGTON, DC (CSN) Republican Sen. Ted Cruz vowed early Monday that he would seek to stop any legislation raising the nation’s debt ceiling unless and until President Obama “in his role as the current, if illegitimate, head of the Union” presented the Junior Senator from Texas with papers “announcing the North’s immediate and unconditional surrender to the Confederacy.” Such documentation, the Senator argued would simply acknowledge “at long last” that the South “clearly and decisively” won the Civil War. Senator Cruz’s statement came at a time of already high tension in Washington as the nation entered its second week of a government shutdown forced by a committed cadre of House Republicans seeking to defund the Affordable Care Act.

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