And that's not a good thing. A pleasant world requires polite discourse. And I'd like to think I'm open-minded and can still see the validity in other people's arguments, even when I disagree.
But I can't do it anymore. The stakes are too high and the issues so black and white. I'm losing my ability to reach across the aisle. Worn down by political campaigns, radioactive waste, oil destroying the ocean, NSA putting a camera up my ass, kids being gunned down while buying Skittles. Yesterday some old man on Facebook felt the need to say how happy he was that "the legal system worked" and George Zimmerman wasn't convicted for killing Trayvon Martin.
Then his buddies chimed in. Here's one woman:
Thank God they sequestered that jury from being exposed to all that mostly liberal media hype. Zimmerman was brought to trial for political purposes mainly to satisfy bigots like Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson and other black racist groups who make a good living inciting people like you. These jurors only spoke of reconsideration AFTER being exposed to the liberal media coverage. I carry a weapon on me and in my car. I will not be shot in the back running away. If someone is beating my head on the concrete and I'm able to reach my weapon....I will use it! Skittles or no skittles!!
Here's another guy:
If the media had not "drummed up" this issue to be something it was not we wouldn't even be talking about it now. I am a CWP holder and anyone who attacks me or tries to attack me will be shot!..Martin was high and attacked Zimmerman. Those are the facts. Nothing Zimmerman did warranted an attack. You can't argue with facts. That's why Zimmerman is not in jail, because of the facts.
I tried to respond with facts and logic and justified but controlled anger. Maybe I did OK.
But I felt hollow inside. Because all I wanted to do was scream SHUT UP YOU GUN-TOTING RACIST BIGOTS JUST GET OFF MY FACEBOOK PAGE GET OUT OF THE WORLD GO LIVE IN A HOLD IN THE GROUND I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!
That's not polite discourse. That's something maybe a 1st-grader might want to spew when they were cranky and need a nap.
Sigh. I'm so tired. Not just tired from waking up bolt upright at 3 a.m. because I was now battling with these people in my dreams, and there was a boy in a green hoodie on the ground and he was looking up at me like "Why?? I'm just a boy. I just wanted to walk to the store and talk on the phone to my friend."
And I got no answer for him. Because the world fucking sucks? Because assholes get to stay alive and write vile shit on Facebook that turns me into a raving lunatic who makes no sense to anybody and certainly can't then fight the good fight?
I don't know. I don't know how to be polite. I don't know how to make sense. I don't even try. I used to do research, and get my facts in line, come up with a cogent argument, and then hone it into beautiful words which few could resist. THAT's how you win a written war.
But I'm a tired soldier. All I want to type is SHUT UP! and OH GOD I'M SO SICK OF SO MANY OF YOU I WANNA PUKE!
My English professors would not be pleased. Maybe being clever and controlled is just beyond the capacity anymore of this tired word soldier.