Written in Ink

I’m Sad As Hell, and I Can’t It Anymore

(sorry if this is tl;dr, but it all just came pouring out if me, and didn’t have much time to edit for length and clarity)

I have a mixed kid. He has a PR dad, and I’m Black. He’s stands at 5’7 , he’s 14 but looks 16/17, and is girl crazy. His Dad recently told me of a story where he went to drop our son off at his White “girlfriend’s” house. I probably should mention my son, and his”gf” live in a predominantly White neighborhood in Connecticut. Well, while dropping our son off, a racial incident occured with the girl’s stepdad. My ex refuses to go into detail, because he knows how riled up, and pissed I get when it comes to racially insensitive shit.

I grew up listening to stories from my mom and dad about what it was like to grow up in the 1950-60’s Greater Birmingham Area. It wasn’t uncommon for the Klan to march through town in a “show of force”, as they headed towards their meetings in the woods. And I saw how these experiences made my parents cynical and bitter towards Whites. And yes, some of it rubbed off on me. While I never adopted the habit of calling White people “rednecks”, a practice my mom eventually renounced, I did develop those same feelings of cynicism with how I believe other races saw Blacks. My parents attitude of “Never forget you’re just another nigger to all White folks” lessened for me into just “Never forget you’re just another nigger to some/many White folks”. While I rarely have these feelings anymore, they still do occasionally crop up. Especially during my work hours.


I say all of this because despite all of my occasional ill-feelings(guess thats the right description) towards Whites, I try my best not to pass it on to my son. But with the attempted murders of BLM protestors in Minneapolis, the Dylann Roof murders, the anti-Islamic/Hispanic shit from Trump, and today the video of the Chicago shooting...it’s getting to be too much. Actually, I haven’t had a honest conversation with my son about race yet, but I think it’s about time. Because all of this shit is making me cry.


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