I'm sure by now you've read The Atlantic's piece about reparations. Being that I'm smarter than you, I know a secret. Without having to read it, I can tell you that it's a passionate plea for reparations. All you need to do is read the title.

Welfare

Let's just get this out of the way right now. Studies show that 86% of African Americans are on welfare. That's free government money. Why do they want more money? I'll tell you why, because Obama will give it to them, that's why. You are already getting enough money from the government to get shoes, big screen TVs, and Cadillacs. There's your reparations right there.

Other Slaves.

When will the other slaves get some reparations? It's a little know fact that white people were slaves too. In the late 1800s Europe transferred thousands of it's own countrymen to work on building this great country. Thousands! A lot more than the total African slaves. No one ever talks about that because the liberal media doesn't want the country to know. Obama has stopped all Republicans from talking about it, with the threat of shutting us down.

The Irish

What about them? They were treated the same as African Americans. Do they get some government money? No one likes to talk about how the Irish were kept from jobs. No on wants to talk about how white America kept my Irish ancestors from opportunities. Will I get my cut of this free government money? I doubt it because, Affirmative Action won't allow it.I hope you see, now, that reparations are a terrible idea.

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I believe I've made a great counter article with far less words. I should go back and read that essay, just to see how right I am.