I do not like the new guy in my frisbee group. My friends and I play pickup frisbee every week at a public park. The game is really casual: everyone is welcome at all skill levels, we call our own fouls (and even then, super rarely), and we don't keep score. The only rule is "don't be a dick."

The new guy is a dick, but I think I'm the only one who noticed. While we were warming up, he somehow singled me out as a weaker player and apropos of nothing, announced that he would switch places with me in the group because I'd "have an easier time throwing downwind" (It was a windy day and all the frisbees were going everywhere, mine as much as—but not more than—everyone else's). I don't know how to describe this, but it's like he called me out in front of the entire group. He walked over and tried to take my place, but I said "No" and didn't move, so he had to go back to his spot.

It's hard to pinpoint the rest of it. Later in the game, he called for the frisbee and I looked for him and threw it to him. A defender blocked it. The guy then told me, "I meant for you to pass it when I called for it, you threw it too late. But it's okay, it's okay." And on another occasion, I threw short and said "Ugh, sorry" and there was something very condescending about the way he said "It's okay, don't be sorry." He would also find weird ways to correct my gameplay and give unsolicited (& unappreciated) advice.

Here's the thing: I was the only one he acted this way with. But I wasn't the worst player on the field. I wasn't even the worst player on our team. I was, however, the only girl on our team. So his behavior comes down to some combination of 1) he is trying to flirt with me, 2) he is showing off, and/or 3) he's trying to build a rapport with the group by identifying the weak member (although I do not consider myself the weak member, for the record). But the effect was that he continually brought attention to (what he perceived as) my shortcomings, and his ability to overlook them.

It was SUPER grating, and it was so insidious and subtle that it felt impossible to call him out. I don't know what I could have said. And I am absolutely sure that he didn't realize what he was doing, so he would have been defensive and then there would have been a situation. And if I was (as I suspect) the only one who noticed his behavior, since it was all directed at me, I probably would have seemed oversensitive or some such shit.

So what can I do? I just want to run around with my frisbee. It's a pickup game, dude. Leave me alone.

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