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Lions To Be Released In Hamptons To Deal With Deer, Sort Of

Illustration for article titled Lions To Be Released In Hamptons To Deal With Deer, Sort Of

According to Hampton's local Dan's Papers at any rate. The chronicler of all things fabulous put out an article about a wealthy South African who brought in lions from his native land to deal with the deer overpopulation problem in the Hamptons, circle of life style.


That's right.


To wander the Hamptons.

Maul wealthy ladies in Chanel. Fall asleep in the middle of the road. Snack on the children of the maids.

Van der Klerk's solution has been to bring 26 male African lions from South Africa to Bridgehampton. He plans to release them into the woods here in the Hamptons on Monday.

"They are the natural predators of deer in South Africa," he told this reporter at a meeting at his house on Friday. "I have done the math. Based on the rate that these carnivores eat meat, the deer herd should be gone in 10 days. This is mother nature at work."

Van der Klerk also had his attorneys do some research. There is an ordinance in the Hamptons prohibiting the harboring of "wild animals," but in the list of such animals there is mention of coyotes and American mountain lions, but not the South African lion.


A quick search does not turn up the words satire paired with Dan's Papers, but it also does not turn up any Mr. Hans Van der Klerk, either. Not in Fortune Magazine. Not on the Googles. That is not stopping the article from bouncing around Facebook with shocked comments.

It does turn up other amazing hoaxes Dan's Papers founder Dan Rattiner has pulled off in the past though.


We have sadly been trained at this point to believe that the rich can do basically anything. But considering how upset security gets at the airport when they think you brought an apple to snack on from a foreign country, I am pretty sure they would notice 10 male South African lions.

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