I was sitting next to this guy in the Workforce office and he struck up a conversation:
Him: Hey man. I'm disabled.
Me: Damn that sucks.
Him: Yeah man a heifer ran and broke one of the gates and I hit my head on some metal. *Shows a knot on his head* The state of Texas said I can't work no more.
Me: Aww man.
Him: You would think it would be fun but it's actually boring.
Me: You just have to find something to do then.
Him: Yeah but I've done everything. I just take care of the house while my wife works.
Me: That cool.
Him: I also have, *shows a scar on his stomach*. I have a tube from my neck to here. Let me see your finger.
Me: *Show him my finger*
Him: Don't worry man. I ain't gay. My wife is sitting right there. *Grabs my finger to feel the tube in his neck.
Me: (He said he's not gay but he grabbed the hell out of my finger.)
Him: At my last job when we were working at night, this one guy asked me too meet him behind the pipes. I got this knife that when you press a button the blade comes up. I showed him that knife and said I don't think you want to go behind there with me.
Me: (Damn this dude thought he was about to get fucked over.)
Him: I ain't with that gay stuff, ya know?
Me: (Oh. He thought he was about to get fucked over literally. I wouldn't have thought that but whatever.)
Him: What do you think about all this gay stuff?
Me: I don't care. Gay people don't bother me.
Him: It's all over the news all day. Man that stuff is sick.
Him: That's why I stopped watching the news. It's all about gay this and gay that. I just watch the weather and that's it. How do you feel about it?
Me: *Shrugs...again* I don't care. People can do what they want to do.
Him: *Chuckles* What? Man you're crazy.
Me: (Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?)
Receptionist: You ready?
Me: *Jumps out the chair like she was handing out Obamphones*