I thought about submitting this for the Unemployment Series, but figured it wasn't good enough to get published without tons of polishing, and just would just get buried. Besides, they already have a ton of submissions. So here goes nothing.

I've always considered myself a hard worker. I started working at the age if 16 full time. Not out of want, but out of need. Being from an alcoholic household, money was usually allocated for beer instead of clothes. I should also mention I was also receiving a several hundred dollar check due to my dad's disability. But for whatever reason, after all the "bills" were paid the balance never trickled down to me .

My first job was a typical job for a teenager. I was a cashier for a family own grocery store. He offered all the overtime I wanted, and turned a blind eye to the labor laws because he new my situation. It wasn't unusual for me to pull in a 40+ work week, while going to high school. I was a very hard, and loyal worker.

I would get off work with my feet bleeding because of the blisters caused by standing up all day. But it didn't bother me. I wanted out of my house, and knew the only way out was work...hard word.

People would constantly tell me I have great customer service skills, and was articulate (for a Black person the might as well say), and would wonder why I was wasting my time as a cashier. So a customer was able to get me a job in bank operations for one of the top three banks in the country. I loved it. The pay more than made up for the hours I lost from the grocery job. All I had to do was sit down, and type in numbers all night. Pretty cushy for an 18 year old with a high school diploma.

When I made the decision to move out, I got second job as a pharmacy tech. I assumed if the economy took a turn, there would always be sick people needing meds. So I became certified as a tech, and stayed in the banking, and pharmacy fields on and off for 15 years.


My last job was with a Canadian bank that expanded to the New England region. Somehow I was able to work my way up from a simple operations employee to department manager. All in a span of 2 years. Usually this position required at least a Bachelor's in Finance. But I knew I wanted more out of life, and worked my ass off, and it showed. I was willing to stay late, and come in early. Travel, whatever they asked. I made that job my life because knew the economy was hanging by a thread, and considered myself lucky to have a great job without having a degree.

Then 2007/8 hit like a ton of bricks. I was laid off of my job from the bank, and I moved back home after my BF, and I broke up.

But I thought I would be able to find a job with no difficulty. I still was registered as a tech , and my cert was in good standing. Boy was I wrong.


I applied with pharmacy, after pharmacy, bank after bank. I even tried McDonald's. Only just to be told "I'm sorry we're not hiring". I chucked it up to the manager preferring to hiring someone less experienced for less money, than to hired someone who knows what they're doing, and LOVES the pharmacy field.

I didn't have many bills since I lived at home. My unemployment check made the blow of not working a bit bearable. But that eventually ran out.

And the depression of not finding a job for two years hit.

Eventually my bed broke, and I refused to let my mom(now sober) use her disability check to buy me a new one. I just KNEW the phone would call with that job offer. How couldn't it? I'm willing to work all shifts, as little as 20 hours a week, and for minimum wage. That was 5 years ago.


Today I still haven found a job. I even applied at Dunkin Donuts, only for them to ask "why is a bank operations manager applying for a job slinging coffee?" I gave them the same story I give you today. The job market sucks, and I'm forced to do whatever it takes to earn money. I never believed I was above any kind of work. Hell, I even tried dominatrix work only for the boss to tell me I am too nice. Lol. Apparently I have the right look, but not the right attitude for the work. Who knew you had to be qualified or Dom work.

I had to take a small break from typing, because what I'm about to write brought up a lot of tears, and painful memories:

My bed room is the living room now, because of the lack of fundage for a new bed. My mom knows how hard it's been to find work. The rest of my family think I've become a lazy bum sponging off my mom. And I resorted to some questionable behavior just to have a few bucks in my pocket for food.


Last month I thought my prayers were answered. By sheer random chance, while I was filling a script, I asked the pharmacist if they were hiring. Surprisingly he said yes, and gave me an impromptu interview right then, and there. I passed the interview with flying colors, being a regular customer he already knew that I was personable enough to deal with the public. As a customer, occasionally I would even troubleshoot for the staff when they were having trouble running my insurance though, which surprised the pharmacist. I can only assume that played a part in me getting hired on the spot...pending a personality test.

I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with Personality Tests. Basically the asks questions like:

-Do you believe all employees think o quitting their job at one point?

-Do you think most people steal from their job(not including office supplies)?

-Do you plan of saying with this job more than 1 year?

You're told there is no right, or wrong answer. BULL. I'm giddy with joy from my first job offer in several years, and the unexpected happened. I was told I didn't pass the test. The manager was surprised to say the least. And disappointed he lost out on an experienced employee. Actually he wasn't disappointed, more like pissed. He called corporate office only to be told if I failed I can't be hired, but I can try again in 6 months.


Luckily for me the pharmacy is in an "urban" area, with "urban" clientele resulting in a high turnover rate. Hopefully when the opportunity comes again I'll pass this goddam test.

In the meantime I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. My mantra for the past several years has been "It happens for a reason". That's the only thing that keeps me outta my funk, and feeling sorry for myself. Well, that, and Howard Stern.

Goodnight from the comfort of my living room bed y'all. Rant over.

BTW, forgive any typos Kinja is still kinda funky with the autocorrect. And after several proofreads I still can't catch all the mistakes.