"Because let's face it, we've all got some problems"
At least that's what Playbuzz—presumably a wannabe Buzzfeed—tells its user as they click on a big blue "Let's Play!" button, gaze into the distressed picture above, and launch into a whopping nine question questionnaire.
The rigorous examination—penned by the surprisingly prolific though glaringly non-doctoral Greg Summers—asks such clinically-vetted questions as "does anything about this bother you?" with an accompanying picture of a floor covered in hexagonal tiles and "how about this?" with a picture of M&Ms sorted by color. Just standard text book questions obviously. I'm sure they're DSM-5 approved. Things got grueling when I was forced to choose how I handle problems in my life and was presented with the options of Food/Drink, Going to Loved Ones, Going to Strangers, or not going to anyone. Literally, that was it. Does it seem like there's an option that is blatantly missing from this list? Maybe—oh I don't know—seeking out professional help? Greg probably just forgot that one. Finally a few questions later, the inane test ended by asking me—Yes or No—if I had voices in my head. (They referred to them as "friends.")
Results: I have Food Addiction.
This is incredibly frustrating not only because my brother posted it to Facebook (and he should know better—we have mental health concerns on both our parents' sides), but because when I posted this story, the quiz had been shared nearly 110,000 times since its creation...on Tuesday. People suffering from mental illnesses already feel ostracized, whether solely through projection or not; we don't need click-bait sites popping up, turning their suffering into a game, and profiting off their supposed weirdness.
To be clear, these types of quizzes are perfectly fine when the results are as meaningless as determining which candy is your soulmate or—I don't know—seeing if you're a grandmaster of sitcom theme songs (Oh look! Greg already has tests for both of those!) but when you present a test that is so insanely, not-even-OKCupid-length short, you inevitably encourage the simplifying of mental illnesses to the most worthless of binary dichotomies:
Don't like hanging out with people? You have depression! Can't stand the arrangement of these colors? You have OCD!
Having this fool's understanding, (which oh my God I thought we had reached rock bottom with the huge swaths of Americans self diagnosing on Wikipedia) will lead to ever more of the annoying advice whores who approach individuals suffering with mental illness and offer, "well, have you tried____?" as if all your brain needed was the sweet nothings of their Dr. Oz pro tips.
No. Please. Stop. Just Stop. Right Now.
Teaching people that it is alright to discriminate by mental health only creates more classes of people for lunatics to target. We don't need any more right now.
image via Playbuzz