The things you see and think while visiting a Laundromat:

  • Social skills go out the window... unless you count head nods and the sporadic "Hey!" mumble.
  • If I had to pick the person who waited until the absolute last possible moment to finally wash his clothes, it would have been the dude in the Tie Dyed shirt and mismatched socks.
  • Yes, hipster guy who fell on your way out of the door to put your clothes in the car, I saw you fall. I was laughing on the inside.
  • Shouldn't it be a punishable crime to play games on your phone with the sound effects on? Especially, if that game is Candy Crush Saga?
  • The same woman decided it would be a good idea to smoke INSIDE the Laundromat. Was this because you wanted to make sure your clean clothes had the same ashtray smell your worn clothes had?
  • Yes, I would have probably stolen that shirt that was in the dryer the entire time I was at the Laundromat if the owner didn't come in while I was folding my clothes. It was a nice shirt. I am a little worried about what that says about me, if that earns me any points.
  • The world's creepiest pick-up line could have been said tonight and this would have been it: "I was really mesmerized by watching your colorful panties spin around in the dryer tonight. Wanna get Arby's sometime?"
  • Give me a photo lineup of 10 random people and I can pick the two that use a Laundromat based solely on adding the level of despair to their overall unattractiveness.
  • Watching a gentleman run in hurriedly and shove wet clothes from a washer into a duffel bag and then run out without even drying them made me think that somehow there was a wormhole that caused a German Jew to find his way into present day and he heard Hitler had sent his men to take him away. Seeing the gigantic Nike logo on the side of the bag ruined any possibility of that being true.
  • You really expect me to believe that you have an assistant that takes care of your place while you are sitting in a Laundromat waiting for your clothes to dry? And even if I buy that one, you expect me to believe you are going to fire him or her because they left your door unlocked? Just some advice, if you're being honest, you're not going to find anyone else willing to work that cheap. If you aren't and that girl you were talking to on the phone ends up blowing you tonight, don't lose her number.

One more thing...

  • The Laundromat is one depressing place.