So I was totally watching Shahs of Sunset and was watching them in their giant limo going to Turkey, with their Cristal and their expensive shoes and their pointless arguing and thought, man, they are like the Breakfast Club. 5 archetypes thrown together, expressing feelings of mutual dislike and finally bonding after the use of substances. Shahs of Sunset intensifies this trope, as if the Shahs of Sunset is like the Breakfast Club meets Groundhog Day— the existentially unbearable idea of forever being unable to break out of the cycle of fighting, drinking and bonding throughout eternity. Maybe it is more like the Breakfast Club meets Jean Paul Sartre and instead of Brian writing an essay revealing that they are more than who they seem, Asa merely scrawls out "Hell is other people."

Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi is like the John Bender, the delinquent. She's always looking for a fight, ready to fuck shit up with other people but deep down she has a heart of gold. Remember her at Asa's party? If she wasn't like 90 pounds and could actually be physically lifted by her boyfriend, she would have totally punched the shit out of everyone and then lifted the sleeve of her shirt and say "LOOK, CIGARETTE BURNS."

Mike Shouhed is Andy the jock. He's mostly a nice guy, hanging out, smoking stogies, seeming reasonably to get along with his girlfriend and relatively mediocre in his success. Like Andy, he struggles to please his parents, finding his swagger to be lacking. Andy got all rageful and taped some kids buttocks together, like a jerk. Mike has that rage, though it comes more from not being able to buy a 50K engagement ring and you saw it when he seethed at Reza, the death stare, the anger...the abandonment of that familiar jocularity. He'd totally punch some kid if he lost a real estate deal. He's just one more failure away from taking up body building.


Mercedes (MJ) Javid is Allison the Outcast. And I know what everyone might think— Oh she's Claire, the popular girl. MJ is too weird and too comfortable being weird to be Claire, whose popularity was the only thing defending her against a gulf of misery. MJ is definitely the outcast—who is happy being defiantly weird but worries about feeling ignored and while MJ is friends with Reza, her friendships are tenuous with almost everyone, including him, as she spends time alone with her white dog pooping on her floor with her fantastic boobs, her questionable ambien habit and her seething resentment, likely listening to the Psychadelic Furs and writing angry poetry. Totally.

Asa Soltan Rahmati is totally Brian the Nerd. Asa is a giant nerd with her diamond water and her performance art. She seems probably to be the nicest person on the cast but really, she'd come in an outfit which would reflexively embarrass you and tell you that she is the mystical intergalactic Persian priestess, which is one step away from having a flare gun in her locker because she was so angry that the fucking lamp wouldn't switch on. That fucking lamp. Or that diamond water bottle. YMMV.


Reza Farahan is Claire the Popular Girl. You know somewhere GG is thinking about telling Reza that he has a fat girl's name and he is ready to show her his lipstick trick. But for reals, Reza sees himself as the center of the group, where the cohesion of the group entirely rests on who he sees on the in and the out group. Lily was part of the group until Reza decided she was not. MJ and Mike were both on the outs depending their relationship with Reza despite their long-time relationships with everyone— they might meet privately but the idea of a group outing without Reza? Didn't happen and I'm guessing that they don't even like him that much, they just need his popular person vibes to complete them. He's a jerk and I'd guess under the right circumstances, if he walked by GG or Asa in the hall, he would totally not say hi to them.