Written in Ink

Teaching Your Daughter To Be An Asshole

I think we now have a winner for the most obnoxious mommy blog of all time. Shockingly (not) it's headlined "I Taught My Daughter To Hate."

It chronicles how the mom has spent years teacher her daughter to be a total asshole and how proud she is of the monster she's created.

"Boo! Hiss!" That is what my daughter will yell out whenever we drive by a McDonald's or a Burger King. On occasion, she will also stick out her tongue at the massively popular fast food chains.... This isn't the only negative behavior she displays when faced with something she thinks is "like totally gross." When she sees a person smoking on the street she will not only give them the stink eye, but she covers her mouth in an attempt to not have a single particle of smoke reach her mouth or nose. It's pretty dramatic and usually leaves the smoker bewildered by her reaction."


Because, you know, bothering total strangers on the street is exactly what little kids should be doing. And, boy does the mom think this is awesome.

"This behavior totally warms my kale-eating, Greek yogurt-loving, grass-fed beef burger-grilling heart.... Yes, this is all my doing. Since she was old enough to comprehend the English language, I have not-so-subtly taught her to have a disdain for certain things, so much so that you could call it a "hate." When we would see a Mickey D's commercial on TV, I would warn her of the dangers of fast food. When we would see someone smoking, I would bring up the dangers of cigarettes. These carefully crafted asides on my part really have sunk in, and now I don't have to give her any guidance to "hate" these things — she hates them all on her own."

She worries for a bit that teaching her children "hate" might not be the greatest thing in the world but then is like "fuck it, I'm glad she's a hateful snot."

"I will go on record that there are some behaviors or unhealthy things that are totally hate-worthy, like smoking. And it is our duty to guide our children to think negatively of those things."


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