Hello folks and welcome to this esteemed sport-like event. The first of its kind and the stakes are high. Owls: adorable, dance-able, pet-able avian wonders or frightening predators of the skies with deadly eyes and even deadlier claws and beaks? The great debate over a creature both adorable and fearsome is truly one that needs to be settled and I, your local broadcaster BlameItOnTheCroutons, will be here to stoke the fires of this debate into something way past what it should be into an all out verbal bloodbath, one not seen since Gawker posted that article about that poet hating Donald Glover.
In Round 1 we had Mysticlights bringing an adorable picture of owls looking like gawking tourists in a city square. They're so little! Room is so big! Eyes are enormous! A truly great first entry.
Round two we see a counterpoint and one that exposes the dark side of owls from Alphadog33. They they are, huddled in their squalor using their predatory eyes and hunched posture to intimidate. Necks are low! Eyes are piercing! One owl is just talking shit! And to the left we see an owl enjoying a recent catch gulping a mouse not unlike a fraternity brother lifting a beer to his face and guzzling it down. I'm calling that one Scooter. Scooter don't give a shit that you're watching him eat mice like a champ. IT IS ON!
Round three comes Snacktastic with an adorable picture of a baby owl and a kitten. THIS CONTEST WAS JUST BLOWN WIDE OPEN FOLKS! Two baby animals! Wow this is unprecedented and that's basically because there is no prescident to this contest! Nonetheless this is a game changer! How will the opposition counter this?
ROUND FOUR: We have an entry from AfroWithAChanceofMeatballs with a tweet linking to Mexican folklore and it is goddamn terrifying!
Folklore says that she returned from beyond the grave as a ghost to seek revenge upon those who murdered her in the form of a human-sized bird with a woman's face. Sometimes, she is the ghost of a woman who was widowed by a man who remarried, or was the devoted wife of an unfaithful husband. At least, that's what they say.
THAT'S THE LEAST OF WHAT THEY SAY?! Folks I have to tell you unless there's an adorable mythological helper owl I'm not sure how Team Cute is going to come out over this one.
What will happen next? Who will step the the ring and bring the gifs? Who will emerge victorious in this thing I made up?
Stay tuned as this contest develops.