Written in Ink

The Mail Is Dangerous

Beware what lurks on the bottom of the pile.

As receptionist at work, I open the mail. Today I flipped the pile over to get the letters on the bottom. On the bottom of the pile was a free intro issue of a porn magazine. Shag to be exact. It was sent to our owner who is an old Chinese man who only comes in once a week and gets tons of charity and penis-pill junk mail. So there I was staring at a woman with ADVISORY on her bits and a blurb about How To Please Her For 5 Hours.

The owner's safe is also missing after the offices were emptied to be cleaned. Our 70+-year-old accountant said the safe is probably full of porn which is why he wants it so badly. I'm thinking she's right.


I think sudden porn is grounds for free lunch, but alas.

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