Written in Ink


Does anyone here watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta? Fucking Kenya. Now Kenya only knows one option, it is the nuclear option. Either she is you are great and wonderful friend or she must destroy you like Godzilla destroys Tokyo. I think we all know that's why Kenya's family looked afraid when she mentioned wanting to have children last Sunday. They are thinking "Fuck, that kid better not ever use wire hangers."

I think best example is what she did with Phaedra. Now I don't even remember Phaedra's original slight, but it was likely something relatively mild because really, Phaedra only cares about hats and lawyering and shit, not having that much energy for warring with random women. But what does Kenya do in response? Phase 1: Dress like Phaedra at a party, mocking her weight, for everyone to see. Phase 2: Procure a video, similar to Phaedra's workout video "Donkey Booty" and call it Stallion Booty, declaring it superior. Phase 3: Make a video called "Gone Like the Wind" where she has a character dressed like Phaedra in the same outfit, (see below) of course to make fun of her weight. Nuclear fucking option. Phaedra can only smirk in response to that kind of fucking over the top stuff. I mean, what would you do? Kenya is a giant troll.

So that's why when I watched her last Sunday, where she met Marlo (ugh, the worst), I was ready to just spend the rest of the episode rolling my eyes over her bullshit. But I do say, I was left admiring her fucking Machiavellian types of scheming.


Ok, so the story is:

You have Cynthia and Peter hanging out with their friends, (90s R&B) Singer, Christopher Williams and his wife, Natalie. Well, Natalie hears about Kandi's fiancee and relates that he had dated one of her friends. He had cheated and "had a street hustle" and always found himself with women who made more money than he had. Well, well, the worst thing you can do with information is tell Cynthia, not that she's especially a gossip or addicted to drama, because she really isn't. I think it's more like she can't handle that kind of information.

Cynthia's sitting in the van with the other women on the way to the winery and she starts talking about Natalie mentioned to her that she had a friend engaged to Todd and then reiterated the rumors. Kenya perks up, her eyes gleaming and said she knew Natalie's husband and he used to deny that they were married— let me backtrack, Kenya insisted that Christopher wasn't married and then acted shocked because they've been long term spouses. She had a very valuable piece of information to use.

This is the real fucking situation which sets Kenya apart from the other ladies:


Ok, so we get to the meal and all the ladies are sitting around, including Kandi, who just joined the party. Kenya, turns to Natalie and says to her that she knew her husband and he always used to deny that he was married to her, even though she said they'd been married for 18 years. Natalie is a little pissed off and the rest of the women looked all shocked at Kenya. But what does Kenya do? She says tells Kandi that Natalie called Todd an opportunist. Natalie, backtracks. Natalie dodges. Natalie says "all men have a little hustle." Natalie tries to explain away her bullshit instead of turning back and yelling at Cynthia (to transfer the anger, as is generally the only option available in these types of situations). Kenya both insulted and blamed Natalie, victimizing her and questioning her marriage while also portraying her as an unrepentant gossip, given to exploiting other people's vulnerabilities.


So, now instead of everyone thinking that Kenya is an asshole, they hate Natalie. Fucking brilliant. And for no real reason, other than the pursuit of pure evil. She barely knew Natalie but she wanted to destroy her. You should really watch it yourself. It's quite a thing to behold. Masterful, like Joan Collins Dynasty shit that so rarely comes out in reality tv anymore.


And Kenya isn't done, apparently:


Damn. Yeah. Don't come for Kenya unless she sends for you.

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