We've all stuck something smaller than our elbows into our ears. Being told that you shouldn't is like a dare. What the hell else are we supposed to do with Q-tips?

As a warning along that same vein, do not ever do a google image search for ear wax. This is not a dare.

So, ear wax. That's what we're talking about. You really aren't supposed to remove it. It's there for a reason. Did you know it's poisonous to small bugs? Think about that. Small dead bugs in your ears, because you know they aren't going to crawl back out before they die.

There are two types of ear wax: dry and wet, and the type you have depends on your ethnicity. People with dry wax are generally of Northeastern Asian descent, while most everyone else has wet wax.

Now, you're not supposed to remove it, but too much can cause impaction. In that case, remove it, but not you, get someone else like a doctor or someone who has totally done this before with mineral oil. Don't use a candle because of reasons. Don't use hydrogen peroxide because Oh My God is that loud as shit and really weird. John Tesh says to just use hot water in the shower and a syringe, because that's not weird.