What is a Kinja?

A scientific study into cryptozoological origins of this rare beast.

In the wilds of the Hungarian countryside, there was always rumors of a beast that was a cross between a badger and a troll. Random people on the country side would complain of entire pots of gulyás disappearing and a haunting laughter in the fog of the night. Occasionally, they'd see this a twitter of fur and then the fonts on the pages of their newspapers and children's books and maps would jumble and disappear. Sometimes they'd change into a most inconvenient pattern. In the nearby town square, the kinja's appearance would cause angriest, most unreasonable man in town to pick fights and all of the people would abandon their reasonable conversations about the daily business of the town to see him pontificate. MRAs! Libruls! Misandry!

A few wise women saw what was happening and postulated that the Kinja was birthed in the fires of hell, which was located somewhere near the Slovakian border. No one could catch it but everyone felt its wrath. They tried script after script to have an exorcism and it didn't work. The kinja survived.

The beast wallowed somewhere deep down. It slept in the mail boxes of the townfolk. It knew people's biggest weaknesses. Kinja would have its way with them. All the esteem they built up, wiped away, as social order crumbled.

And Kinja laughed and licked his lips and curled up at the bottom of a pot. The contents were in his distended tummy and he laughed as he dreamed of the family's crying when they awoke to see their meal gone.


Oh Kinja.

Or am I wrong? Any other stories?