Friends, it is with a heavy heart that I must impart terrible truths. For my colleagues in Cat and Post parties have lead you astray in their propaganda, and it is up to us in the Perot Banner Party to set the record straight.

First: cats. Notice how they are not called anyone's best friend, for there is a reason. Any and all promises given by those of the feline persuasion will be immediately rescinded and replaced with a dead rodent. Here is your proof!

Is this what you want? A pile of dead mice to show how bad of a hunter you are? I mean, I know you can get a 10-point buck with a toothbrush but they don't think that. They ignore you and then they mock you. That is the way of the cat.

Then there are posts. What could be more elite than a post caging in those delicious docile beasts God put on this Earth for you to consume over a hot flame? What could be more unwelcoming than the barbed wire upon which is tied around it? How could you look at this distant and blurred animal and not feel pity!

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Yes friends this is what posts represent: confinement. Do you want your Crosstalk to be a prison state for the uber rich?

We in the Perot Banner Party say no!

No to dead mice as gifts!

No to caging your bovine freedoms!

Say yes to Perot. Say yes to a free Crosstalk.

(Paid for by the Schmeritage Foundation)