Written in Ink

When Sex Is Murder

Many of you have probably the Gawker piece about a guy charged for not disclosing his HIV status to sex partners. There are back and forth arguments on whether or not that should be a crime. That's interesting, but it ignores the fact that there are people out there who intentionally infect people - shouldn't we be talking about that?

GLADD has commented on the case, essentially arguing that this dude had no choice but to not tell people he was HIV positive:

"(I)f you don't understand why a young gay black man has difficulty disclosing his status, you're clueless as to why the epidemic is affecting young gay black men in shocking numbers. We have an environment in which those with HIV are labeled as murderers, and then wonder why they have trouble disclosing."


As far as I can tell that means "how the hell else was he going to get laid?"

That may very well be the case here, that the dude was just worried that he'd not get fucked if he told his status. What it ignores is the culture of stealthing (tricking men into unprotected gay sex) that exists.

There are numerous websites out there with details on how to do it. Check out this (NSFW) one that is particularly evil.

Here's some of his "helpful" advice.

"Put your condoms in your car for a few days, especially if you can sit them on your dashboard. Then bring them inside and put them into your freezer straight from the extreme heat. Then take them back outside to the car. Doing this a few times — extreme heat, extreme cold — really breaks them down but only once or twice helps."


Here's some more.

"First and foremost, get rid of all condom-safe lubricants but not the bottles they came in (maybe not all… when you do have the barebacker over, you might prefer one). Fill up these "safe for condom use" bottles with oil or petroleum lubricants."


And more.

"You must control your breathing so that when you cum, it's not apparent you're cumming. Immediately after shooting in the bottom's ass, pull out and reach down to appear to pull off the condom. In this process, wipe off any excess cum from the ass. Produce the wet condom and drop it somewhere near his chest and/or face. Now breath hard and "cum."


Now I'm not saying that anything like this happened in this case. But stealthing needs to be part of the ongoing discussion of the criminalization of HIV transmission. There are literally dozens of sites out there with guys trading tips on how to stealth and talking about the times they've stealthed and encouraging other dudes to stealth.

That has to mean that it's happening. And, when it does, I do think it should be a crime.


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