Yet again I had to do something I absolutely hate doing but have no control over. I was part of the Insurmountable Job Application Wall.

I'm the receptionist at the Hot Mess of a company I work for but no one really ever tells me any pertinent information. Going away party for someone who has worked here for, like, a decade? Not important to tell the receptionist. Someone's leaving the office for 1-8 hours? Not important to tell the receptionist. When we're hiring? Not important to tell the receptionist.

I've come to just not care but in the last case it really gets to me. I've been on (and still am on) the end of the employment search where you send out multiple applications and never hear back from any of the places because who cares we got 600 applications already. Knowing what it's like to sit there and cry because you literally haven't even received a rejection form letter from a single one hurts. It makes you feel useless and like you may not even exist at all. Yet, because no one informs me when we're hiring or if an ad was placed, I have people coming up to the front desk asking for work.

Now, you may think," Just ask someone." Again, Hot Mess. At first I was told to just give an application and turn it into the person in charge of wherever they'd want to be hired (usually warehouse). Trying to track down that person in order to ask is like trying to find Waldo. Trying to get a straight answer is like talking to a wall sometimes. So what do I do? I tell them I'm not sure. I usually know we aren't because when we are, Waldo is the one inviting people in for interviews and not taking walk ins. Though sometimes people walk in and were invited but forget who it was that invited them or were referred by someone and just stopped by so, of course, I almost sent someone away once.

I used to just say no until that incident. I tried saying no again after a while but when they ask for an application anyway and I can see right into their eyes that they're desperate, I give in. Will their application make it to the drawer or the recycling bin? I don't know. After I turn it in, it's on management to handle it. But they never have to deal with seeing the people face to face and knowing exactly what they're going through.

Sometimes I think it does work out. I can never tell, though, since we seem to have a revolving door of layoffs/quitting followed by hiring at the least opportune times so getting to know anyone in the warehouse is pretty much moot. Either way, I hate having to give these people false hope. I hate being the very thing that I rant about when it comes to job searching. I may as well be the HR software that doesn't let your info past the first barrier.

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So to the woman I had sitting in the lobby filling out an application, I'm sorry if you call and no one has any word on your resume. I wish I could tell when we were hiring, what we're looking for, and if you have a shot. But, sadly, I don't have any answers. I only have the applications in a drawer.